Mister whatever and banning

If you could permanently ban a word from general usage, which one would it be? Why?

If you could permanently ban a word from general usage, which one would it be? Why?

What! You say if I could permanently ban a word… Are you nuts, sir? I ask.
No word should ever be banned, sir. Let me tell you—if I ban you from existing, how would you feel?

This is exactly like that. Don’t ban a word. Or anything, for that matter. If people don’t like it, it will fall into disuse and go out of currency. As simple as that.

But if you are still adamant about banning words, then ban yourself first.
There will always be crazy people asking for your ban. Just assume I want you to be banned.
But should you ban yourself if a blogger, absurdist, or satirist wants that?
No. I know your answer. Not even in seven births would you want that.
Banning something from existing is reprehensible, sir.
Don’t do it. Instead, whatever you don’t like, mock it. It will die of embarrassment. Exaggerate it, absurdise it, fill it with pebbles of metaphors neck-deep, it will die an instant death.

But don’t let a fatwa kill it by banning it.
Let me let you in on a secret. It doesn’t die instantly by the mere issue of a ban. People will be interested, curious to know what it was that was banned. There will be a secret circulation of it, and so it will survive. Why make something stronger when you want it to be erased?

And you know what? What’s banned today may not be banned tomorrow. Lady Chatterley’s Lover was banned when it was first published. Anything where a woman decides her own fate scandalises society, you see. So yes, it was banned. Now it’s not. It’s living freely, breathing, gulping air with its bookly nose. Yes, books have noses. Only book lovers know this. You can ask the Book Goblin for confirmation. She is absolute authority on everything book-related.

Let me not digress.
The point is, I want you to be banned. But will I demand your ban? No, sir. See, I am a mildly intelligent person. Instead of banning you, I am mocking you.
You are simply a supremely silly person who wants words to be banned. What a world you live in, mister… umm… whatever. Sorry, I don’t know your name.
And therefore, there’s no point banning you. You effectively do not exist for me since I do not know your name. And yet, I am here mocking you. Can you see the irony?

I know you can’t. You are not mildly intelligent like me. You are just a whatever demanding the banning of words. I ask you for reasons. You show your teeth. Stupid people do that. They ask things without understanding the head or tail of it.

I know you consider yourself supremely intelligent, and there lies the fallacy. But you can’t see it. Because if you could, you would simply demote yourself and become a mildly intelligent person like me.
Anyway, you being the mockee and I the mocker, I will play a game with you, where I will ask simple questions concerning the topic.
So, mister whatever, why ban words?
And instead of answering, you are showing your yellowing teeth. And you are not even embarrassed. In fact, I am suffering second-hand embarrassment because of what you are.
You didn’t even correct me by saying, “Ma’am, start by asking my name.” See, I totally know that I should ask your name first. But I didn’t, just to see if you are intelligent enough to raise objections or not.
But no. You are just a supremely silly person showing your yellowing teeth with utter unembarrassment.

No worries. I would still not ask for your ban. I will simply mock you.
That’s where I shine.
So good day to you, mister whatever. I congratulate you on your supreme intelligence. Because of you, sir, the earth rotates, and mockers like me earn their bread and butter.

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